SHREDDY MERCURY
Professional Face Melter
LOST SOULS
SHREDDYMERCURY.COM
2011 US Air Guitar Finals Recap
It's very similar to going away to summer camp and having to leave as summer ends. This past weekend, I represented Brooklyn at the 2011 US Air Guitar Finals in Chicago.
Friday July 21st
I arrived on Friday after a 2-hour delay on the tarmac in NY. The air was ripe with hotness as I reacquainted myself with the Windy City again. I took the El to the Loop and disembarked a few blocks from The Hard Rock Hotel where my roomate (DC Champion Adam "Tommy Fretless") and I were to lay our heads (if we found time to relax).
The hotel was lovely and rockin' as Mr. Fretless met me in the lobby. He had badly sprained his foot the week before and was stuck on crutches. The foot looked like someone threw it in a meat grinder and inflated it with a balloon pump. We checked in, flirted with the girl at the front desk and jokingly told her that I was doing an Amy Winehouse song (SIDENOTE: Sadly enough Miss Winehouse passed away the following day, so this joke had some creepiness to it).
We checked into our room on the 5th floor which was "The Beatles" floor. Our room at the Fab Four in the bathroom which made dropping a deuce feel like we were "Paperback Writers". I checked in with West "ATC" Hays and let him know we arrived, and he informed me that some of the gang were practicing a half-time skit a floor below. An idea came over me and quickly threw on a great outfit to surprise them.
The awkwardness could be cut like a knife, but let's be real here. We were in town for an air guitar competition, so my barging into the room looking for the pool was in good taste. I reunited with Andrew "William Ocean" Litz, Craig "Hot Lixx" Billmeier, Eric "Mean" Melin, Rob "Lost Heartbreaker" Nechanicky and Dan "Bjorn Turoque". I was also honored to finally meet "America's Got Talent" star and drummer for West coast powerhouse airband "Airpocalypse", Jason "Steven ColbAIR" Lidin Cheung. And Flying Finn was there too (dammit I can't remember his real name). Anyway, I talked movie shop with Mean Melin while the guys practiced their half-time skit.
We then made our way to some other part of the city (I still can't figure out where is where in that sprawling metropolis), where Ocean had planned a wily game of trivia for some of us airists. So, at a nice little spot we chugged PBRs, ate cheap yet incredible tacos, and listened to the soothing sounds of Slayer while playing Air Guitar trivia. Questions about air guitarists (like who was the 1st Chicago Air Guitar champ), music (which actor did the voice of Waldo in Van Halen's "Hot for Teacher" video) and potporri (What is the name of Bjorn Turoque's dog) were given and we enjoyed a ruckus good time.
Cami "Airisol" Phillipi joined the festivities and we downed our beers and took advantage of a photo booth:
Next, we made our way to Matt "Romeo Dance Cheetah" Cornelison's pad to pre-party before we were to embark on a night of karaeoke. RDC was the defending US champion and he was kind enough to stock his 3 BR apartment with beer, Italian pasteries and other things to imbibe on. This shot was taken:
When you mix a bunch of air guitarists who love music and have no inhibitions with Korean karaoke... you get complete madness. Jacob "Air Bear" Calle's rendition of Ghostbusters was stirring... even though he was on his 3rd Four Loko. I rocked a duet of Pearl Jam's "Jeremy" with Kolb "Vlad D M Wailer" Ettenger and then lost my voice, mind and bladder to Iron Maiden's "Flight of Icarus" with Jason "Lt. Facemelter" Farnan. At 2am we exited to a torrential downpour/monsoon/thunderbolt and lightning/storm. I stood in the pouring rain trying to get a cab for my crippled roomate Mr. Fretless. These two assjack drunk girls tried to convince me they were getting one first. Let's see you're two drunk girls, and I'm from NYC. Well, a cab came and thanks to Dave "G Tso Money" Chen's help we got Fretless in the cab. These two assjack girls stumbled in with us and the night was about to get weird.
"Oh my god, can you like take us to Five Guys... I like really want a burger" (nasal whiny Fran Drescher voice).
Kill me.
We drove down Lake Shore Drive in the monsoon and it was flooded to the point where cars had water up to the windows. Thankfully our driver knew not to stop at all and we dropped the bimbos off at Five Guys. At least they paid for most of the trip so it wasn't that bad. 4am rolled around and I realized that I had to get up in 3 hours to be on ABC News with Justin "Nordic Thunder" Howard, the reigning Chicago champ. I also realized I drank two cans of some energy drink called "You're Never Sleeping". Fretless and I got into bed and I maybe got 20 minutes of sleep before my alarm went off.
Saturday July 23rd
With a dry bagel I walked the five minutes to ABC Studios. I checked in a plopped on a chair in the green room watching some lady flamenco dance. I found the coffee pot and charged the batteries for a bit. Nordic Thunder rolled in a half an hour later with Momma Thunder (his mom). He's one of the most hilarious, nicest and awesome dudes I've ever met. We hung out, drank coffee and his mom showed me where the bathroom was ("Shreddy, it's down that way. I know because I defiled the women's room earlier). Like mother, like son.
It was time to get on air and we donned our respective gear. Nordic in his leather and hair, me in my bondage gear. Perfect for an early Sat. morning news show. They shot a quick tease with Nordic and then they shot one with me. Funny part was, they didn't play the song I gave them. Instead it was Romeo Dance Cheetah's "Robot Rock" cut. Thankfully I'm really awesome and still nailed it.
The host of the show came to greet us and was visibly disturbed and nervous. Here's what went down:
There was nothing sweeter than sipping out of that mug. I think Nordic was quite upset about losing the 1st Annual ABC Chicago News Air Guitar Challenge to me.
That's okay...
He was destined for better things...
I got back to my room and passed out for a few hours before I was to meet up with my old college roomate who lives in Chicago. We popped into some place called Elephant Castle and I had a delicious lunch with a Boddingtons. I returned to my room, and crashed for another hour or so.
By 4pm I was on my way to the venue, when I decided it was time to see another old college chum. The Chairman is a character of his own, and his buddy owns Sluggers which is right across from Wrigley Field. A shot of whiskey and a pedi-cab ride later I arrived at the Metro. This was the same place I saw this new band called the Smashing Pumpkins back in '93. Now, I was to adorn the stage myself.
Everyone had arrived and ESPN was shooting some people. I squiggled my way in as I am a media whore and they took some cool pics of me. Hopefully ESPN 360 will show them to the world. Speaking of cool pics... Check these out...
Afterwards, we decided it was time to do a flashmob on the El. Our journey consisted of breaking up a wedding photo shoot:
And other rediculous encounters. I'm sure the flash mob is somewhere on YouTube. We made it back to the venue and it was go time.
We ate, drank, mingled, practiced, slept, (I think Aaron "Dry Ice" Alonso may have rubbed one out in the restroom) and prepared for our big night. The numbers were drawn and I picked 21. There were 22 total contestants, and I had never picked a number so close to the end. As the night went on I watched my fellow performers rip it up on stage. My pal Nordic Thunder's 1st round performance was arguably one of the best I have ever seen.
Finally, it was my turn and I hit the stage and did what I thought was a pretty riveting performance:
However, the judges hated it. One guy misinterpreted Hootie and the Blowfish for Jim Croce. The other guy claimed he "couldn't see what I was doing". How is that possible if you're in the balcony? And the final judge, Hot Lixx Hulahan, who has judged me for years now and has shared a stage with me felt it wasn't as passionate and charismatic as my previous performances. I left the stage feeling like someone just kicked me the balls from behind. However, Ryan "DreamCatcher" Layman approached me and said that "it was the best performance of mine he has ever seen". This was confirmed by my other airists and frankly that means more to me than some assjack's scores. My mood immediately lightened as the normally stoic Rob "Windhammer" Weychert proceeded to dance a full-smiled jig in front of me to life my spirits.
It goddamn worked.
The 2nd round performance involved all the finalists performing to "Kickstart my Heart" by Motley Crue. Windhammer's 2nd round was the most incredible performance I've ever seen him do. As William Ocean and I watched his fury, we felt as with each second the cataclysmic routine grew bigger and wilder. We looked at each afterwards with the simple words of "Holy Shit".
However, Chicago's own wasn't going to go down without a fight. He nailed the song and proceeded to power slide on his knees leaving a bloody trail in his wake (and smashing a light on stage). The judges, the crowd and all the air guitarists backstage just bore witness to history.
And history was made.
Nordic Thunder is the 2011 US Air Guitar Champion and it's the most well-deserved title I can think of. The man is a genuinely incredible person, with a heart of gold, a rapier-like wit, and a presence that will make the Finns tremble as he shall hopefully bring the title back to U.S. soil where it belongs.
anon,
S
Friday July 21st
I arrived on Friday after a 2-hour delay on the tarmac in NY. The air was ripe with hotness as I reacquainted myself with the Windy City again. I took the El to the Loop and disembarked a few blocks from The Hard Rock Hotel where my roomate (DC Champion Adam "Tommy Fretless") and I were to lay our heads (if we found time to relax).
The hotel was lovely and rockin' as Mr. Fretless met me in the lobby. He had badly sprained his foot the week before and was stuck on crutches. The foot looked like someone threw it in a meat grinder and inflated it with a balloon pump. We checked in, flirted with the girl at the front desk and jokingly told her that I was doing an Amy Winehouse song (SIDENOTE: Sadly enough Miss Winehouse passed away the following day, so this joke had some creepiness to it).
We checked into our room on the 5th floor which was "The Beatles" floor. Our room at the Fab Four in the bathroom which made dropping a deuce feel like we were "Paperback Writers". I checked in with West "ATC" Hays and let him know we arrived, and he informed me that some of the gang were practicing a half-time skit a floor below. An idea came over me and quickly threw on a great outfit to surprise them.
The awkwardness could be cut like a knife, but let's be real here. We were in town for an air guitar competition, so my barging into the room looking for the pool was in good taste. I reunited with Andrew "William Ocean" Litz, Craig "Hot Lixx" Billmeier, Eric "Mean" Melin, Rob "Lost Heartbreaker" Nechanicky and Dan "Bjorn Turoque". I was also honored to finally meet "America's Got Talent" star and drummer for West coast powerhouse airband "Airpocalypse", Jason "Steven ColbAIR" Lidin Cheung. And Flying Finn was there too (dammit I can't remember his real name). Anyway, I talked movie shop with Mean Melin while the guys practiced their half-time skit.
We then made our way to some other part of the city (I still can't figure out where is where in that sprawling metropolis), where Ocean had planned a wily game of trivia for some of us airists. So, at a nice little spot we chugged PBRs, ate cheap yet incredible tacos, and listened to the soothing sounds of Slayer while playing Air Guitar trivia. Questions about air guitarists (like who was the 1st Chicago Air Guitar champ), music (which actor did the voice of Waldo in Van Halen's "Hot for Teacher" video) and potporri (What is the name of Bjorn Turoque's dog) were given and we enjoyed a ruckus good time.
Cami "Airisol" Phillipi joined the festivities and we downed our beers and took advantage of a photo booth:
Next, we made our way to Matt "Romeo Dance Cheetah" Cornelison's pad to pre-party before we were to embark on a night of karaeoke. RDC was the defending US champion and he was kind enough to stock his 3 BR apartment with beer, Italian pasteries and other things to imbibe on. This shot was taken:
When you mix a bunch of air guitarists who love music and have no inhibitions with Korean karaoke... you get complete madness. Jacob "Air Bear" Calle's rendition of Ghostbusters was stirring... even though he was on his 3rd Four Loko. I rocked a duet of Pearl Jam's "Jeremy" with Kolb "Vlad D M Wailer" Ettenger and then lost my voice, mind and bladder to Iron Maiden's "Flight of Icarus" with Jason "Lt. Facemelter" Farnan. At 2am we exited to a torrential downpour/monsoon/thunderbolt and lightning/storm. I stood in the pouring rain trying to get a cab for my crippled roomate Mr. Fretless. These two assjack drunk girls tried to convince me they were getting one first. Let's see you're two drunk girls, and I'm from NYC. Well, a cab came and thanks to Dave "G Tso Money" Chen's help we got Fretless in the cab. These two assjack girls stumbled in with us and the night was about to get weird.
"Oh my god, can you like take us to Five Guys... I like really want a burger" (nasal whiny Fran Drescher voice).
Kill me.
We drove down Lake Shore Drive in the monsoon and it was flooded to the point where cars had water up to the windows. Thankfully our driver knew not to stop at all and we dropped the bimbos off at Five Guys. At least they paid for most of the trip so it wasn't that bad. 4am rolled around and I realized that I had to get up in 3 hours to be on ABC News with Justin "Nordic Thunder" Howard, the reigning Chicago champ. I also realized I drank two cans of some energy drink called "You're Never Sleeping". Fretless and I got into bed and I maybe got 20 minutes of sleep before my alarm went off.
Saturday July 23rd
With a dry bagel I walked the five minutes to ABC Studios. I checked in a plopped on a chair in the green room watching some lady flamenco dance. I found the coffee pot and charged the batteries for a bit. Nordic Thunder rolled in a half an hour later with Momma Thunder (his mom). He's one of the most hilarious, nicest and awesome dudes I've ever met. We hung out, drank coffee and his mom showed me where the bathroom was ("Shreddy, it's down that way. I know because I defiled the women's room earlier). Like mother, like son.
It was time to get on air and we donned our respective gear. Nordic in his leather and hair, me in my bondage gear. Perfect for an early Sat. morning news show. They shot a quick tease with Nordic and then they shot one with me. Funny part was, they didn't play the song I gave them. Instead it was Romeo Dance Cheetah's "Robot Rock" cut. Thankfully I'm really awesome and still nailed it.
The host of the show came to greet us and was visibly disturbed and nervous. Here's what went down:
There was nothing sweeter than sipping out of that mug. I think Nordic was quite upset about losing the 1st Annual ABC Chicago News Air Guitar Challenge to me.
That's okay...
He was destined for better things...
I got back to my room and passed out for a few hours before I was to meet up with my old college roomate who lives in Chicago. We popped into some place called Elephant Castle and I had a delicious lunch with a Boddingtons. I returned to my room, and crashed for another hour or so.
By 4pm I was on my way to the venue, when I decided it was time to see another old college chum. The Chairman is a character of his own, and his buddy owns Sluggers which is right across from Wrigley Field. A shot of whiskey and a pedi-cab ride later I arrived at the Metro. This was the same place I saw this new band called the Smashing Pumpkins back in '93. Now, I was to adorn the stage myself.
Everyone had arrived and ESPN was shooting some people. I squiggled my way in as I am a media whore and they took some cool pics of me. Hopefully ESPN 360 will show them to the world. Speaking of cool pics... Check these out...
Afterwards, we decided it was time to do a flashmob on the El. Our journey consisted of breaking up a wedding photo shoot:
And other rediculous encounters. I'm sure the flash mob is somewhere on YouTube. We made it back to the venue and it was go time.
We ate, drank, mingled, practiced, slept, (I think Aaron "Dry Ice" Alonso may have rubbed one out in the restroom) and prepared for our big night. The numbers were drawn and I picked 21. There were 22 total contestants, and I had never picked a number so close to the end. As the night went on I watched my fellow performers rip it up on stage. My pal Nordic Thunder's 1st round performance was arguably one of the best I have ever seen.
Finally, it was my turn and I hit the stage and did what I thought was a pretty riveting performance:
However, the judges hated it. One guy misinterpreted Hootie and the Blowfish for Jim Croce. The other guy claimed he "couldn't see what I was doing". How is that possible if you're in the balcony? And the final judge, Hot Lixx Hulahan, who has judged me for years now and has shared a stage with me felt it wasn't as passionate and charismatic as my previous performances. I left the stage feeling like someone just kicked me the balls from behind. However, Ryan "DreamCatcher" Layman approached me and said that "it was the best performance of mine he has ever seen". This was confirmed by my other airists and frankly that means more to me than some assjack's scores. My mood immediately lightened as the normally stoic Rob "Windhammer" Weychert proceeded to dance a full-smiled jig in front of me to life my spirits.
It goddamn worked.
The 2nd round performance involved all the finalists performing to "Kickstart my Heart" by Motley Crue. Windhammer's 2nd round was the most incredible performance I've ever seen him do. As William Ocean and I watched his fury, we felt as with each second the cataclysmic routine grew bigger and wilder. We looked at each afterwards with the simple words of "Holy Shit".
However, Chicago's own wasn't going to go down without a fight. He nailed the song and proceeded to power slide on his knees leaving a bloody trail in his wake (and smashing a light on stage). The judges, the crowd and all the air guitarists backstage just bore witness to history.
And history was made.
Nordic Thunder is the 2011 US Air Guitar Champion and it's the most well-deserved title I can think of. The man is a genuinely incredible person, with a heart of gold, a rapier-like wit, and a presence that will make the Finns tremble as he shall hopefully bring the title back to U.S. soil where it belongs.
anon,
S
US Air Guitar Hits TMZ.com!
TMZ.com covered the 2011 US Air Guitar NYC Regional competition.
We had more comments than the Vancouver riots!!
http://www.tmz.com/2011/06/16/2011-air-guitar-championships-shredding-with-the-stars-photos-gallery/
We had more comments than the Vancouver riots!!
http://www.tmz.com/2011/06/16/2011-air-guitar-championships-shredding-with-the-stars-photos-gallery/
June 15 - Bowery Ballroom, NYC - 2011 US Air Guitar Championships
Come one and come all to see the show...
Tickets are available here:
http://www.boweryballroom.com/event/6293
It's Been Awhile...
Hey all you Shreddy-phanatics,
Yes, it's been quite awhile since I've updated everyone. All is great in Shreddy-land. I'm gearing up for this year's 2011 US Air Guitar Championships and going to make another run at my 2nd Brewskee Ball mug with the greatest Brewskee Ball team... Great Balls of Fire.
See the newest videos to see what I've been doing.
Yes, it's been quite awhile since I've updated everyone. All is great in Shreddy-land. I'm gearing up for this year's 2011 US Air Guitar Championships and going to make another run at my 2nd Brewskee Ball mug with the greatest Brewskee Ball team... Great Balls of Fire.
See the newest videos to see what I've been doing.
